No Shower, Car Trouble And I'm On My Period.

"Ohhh... OH! Well....yeah. Of course you've had a bad day. Yup, you're on your period!".

OK, I admit that the statement, the tone of voice that implies the statement, or even the THOUGHT of the statement above makes me momentarily cringe and become somewhat rabid cranky. I mean didn't you notice the car trouble...the no shower???

I have come to the conclusion that it's not really "the period" that's so awful, it's the menstrual bad JuJu. The once-a-month visitor that brings tidings of hormonal miscontent. Not Joy. There is no joy. I am a joyless lightening rod for all good things to go sour. I have lost my MoJo. Plus, I have cramps.

With that said, yesterday morning I made the breakfast bake. I figured, good hearty breakfast for the boys before our college adventure. And it was good! I figured that between my son (who would eat the vacuum cleaner if I put it between two slices of bread) and my nephew, Sean (the pickiest eater I know) I would get a fair assessment. It was deemed "good", and devoured. I will definately make this again.



While I cleaned up from breakfast I sent the boys off to shower and get ready.
So far, so good...and right on schedule. My turn for a shower and wait for it......no hot water. What is it about the "no hot water" we don't get? Standing there, cold and naked, with the shower going full blast while you shove your hand in and out repeatedly? Nope, still no hot water. Minutes pass, maybe...no. No hot water. It finally sets in. Now it's decision time...cold shower or cold sponge-bath? Geez, well we are running late now, so no time for a shower anyway. Decision made. Icy sponge-bath it is. Hair won't behave, I feel gross and I'm running late. Bad Menstrual JuJu.

Once in the car, balance is restored. Directions, well-groomed boys, gas, and I even remembered to bring gator-aids for when I got the "Hey, can we stop and buy a coke....I'm thirsty." Mental pat on the back and we are off to the college.

The trip was 37 miles long. Of those 37 miles the last 15 were spent in quiet panic with soaring blood pressure, and a cold-sweat of indecision. My car seems to be stuck in high gear (the screaming whine of the engine heard over the radio is indicating something is amiss). Definately something is WRONG. Wait, lets turn off the radio so we can hear it better. Maybe if I concentrate on the pitch of the screaming I will be able to instantly diagnose the problem and make a decision AS TO WHAT TO DO. "What's that noise, Mom/AuntLinda?" Oh, well guys, that's the sound of lightning striking out at my hormonally charged, dark aura.....never mind. Wait, I notice that as I lift my foot from the accelerator the screaming stops. Completely. Testing it I apply my foot to the gas...instant scream! Scream , scream (playing with it like a tongue with a sore tooth). What does this MEAN? I shift my concentration to take inventory as to where we are exactly (actually...looking for a SIGN to help me decide what to do.....if a Pep Boys appeared...THAT could be a "sign".) My engine scream has settled into a consistant, loud "emergency-vehicle" sound and we are just a mere couple of miles from the college. Decision made. We scream up to the college and (Oh Thank you Lord!) there is one, just one parking space left in this tiny, metered parking lot. I slide my car in, shut the engine off and ask the boys...Do we have change?

10 minutes for a quarter, 4 minutes for a dime and 2 minutes for a nickel! After scouring the boys pockets, the car floor and my purse we have 1 hour and 44 minutes. I can actually feel the bad JuJu gathered around my unwashed head like rainclouds, just waiting to bust loose.

The college tour was blessedly uneventful. The highlights for me were the(very good and strong) coffee and watching my nephew during part of the tour. He was standing off to the side of the group, completely engrossed in finger-combing and flipping around his glorious mane of hair. My sister had previously told me of this phenomenon, but I had never witnessed it before. (It truly is great hair. I envied his glorious, clean hair.)

After the college tour ended, we drove off whined away with 30 min left on the parking meter, and a car waiting for our spot. (My random act of kindness for the day......did I tell you that today was the first day of "Acts of Random Kindness" week? Huh.) See how the days glow has just tarnished away? Just get us home, you stupid car. You piece of junk.

We screamed all the way home, but we were home. And safe. So now we just wait for my husband, fixer of all things broken, to come home and we can figure this out. He test drives it and ...it drives fine. Evil, two-timing hunk of crap. Jim looks at me kindly, searching for just the right words....(no rash movements, here) and states it must be an "intermittant problem".

I'm tired, unvalidated and ...I'm on my period. End of story.